Killing the Curiosity
by MariekoWest
Summary: Muten Roshi has always been curious. RoshiP (RoshixPiccolo) & HanP (GohanxPiccolo)(Warning: Explicit Yaoi Smut/PWP! Hermaphroditic Uke Piccolo Indulgence. Please read complete warnings inside *carefully*.)
1. Sequence 1

**Warnings:** Rape/Non-Con (not really graphic, but still...), Yaoi, Vulgar Language, Pregnant Namek, Ideologically Sensitive, Bondage, Sexual Torture, Sex Toys, Forced Orgasm, Hermaphroditic & Alien Biology, Canon Male-Hermaphroditic Piccolo, My Retroverse Headcanons, Not GohanxVidel-Friendly, Uke Piccolo, Hardcore, NSFW, R-18, Maybe even R-21, Dirty old man Roshi is in this! Be very afraid! Do not underestimate how seriously explicit this will be!

 **Important Note!** This is porn without plot, but this is still part of my Retroverse (DragonBallRetro Universe). If you don't wish to read about dark, homoerotic, non-con (kinky) sex, then don't. **The scenes aren't very graphic** , **but they still are explicit so**... if you think it's too much for FFnet's standards, kindly PM me and I will replace the said chapters with a tamer version. The original versions can always be found over in my main accounts: AO3 (MariekoWest)  & AFFnet (Lil'MissWest).

 **Disclaimer:** **Dragon Ball/Z/GT/Xenoverse/Super/etc.** belong to their respective owners. I own nothing except this derivative fanwork which I do not profit from.

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Story #34:

 **"Killing the Curiosity"  
**

* * *

"Don't you ever yearn for pussy?"

"Excuse me?"

Gohan wasn't sure he heard the old man right. He was on his second glass of fruit punch which was laced with alcohol; a fact not withheld from his knowledge.

He had been visiting Muten Roshi and Kririn to tell them of the good news: _that he and his darling dearest were having their second baby!_ Upon which the two old friends insisted that it was cause for celebration (even if only a drink or two and some catching up) as he waited for his husband to be done with his "check-up" at Capsule Corporation (only because Bloomer wouldn't let up).

They had a brief -and very mature- dispute about it; Piccolo explicitly stating his refusal to be treated like a typical Earthling mother who needed a maternity check-up, because he wasn't! To which Bloomer happened to overhear via the communicator and his hapless hypersensitive Namekian ears were given a thorough boxing. Their firstborn was birthed in another planet with the most advanced technology, and even then, he went through all levels of hell giving birth to a powerful hybrid. And so, he was finally convinced (well, more of nagged) to own up and accept that this was how Earthlings cared for soon-to-be-mothers and their soon-to-be-offspring.

Gohan insisted on accompanying him, but the pregnant Namek shot the idea dead on the spot, saying that if he were to be made a fool of as a kooky lab woman's science project, he would rather keep what little dignity he could while being subjected to it; and having his hand held by his husband like he was some helpless child as he was poked and prodded under glaring laboratory lights was not his idea of accomplishing that.

And so, that's what finds the happy father-of-their-second-child-to-be at the Kame House, waving his handsome Namekian spouse off with assuring words like _'Bloomer-san really does care, she isn't just curious about your superior (and bombshell sexy) Namekian anatomy as you suspect'_ and then muttering to himself as an afterthought, 'Well, maybe a teensy bit…' then out loud, ' _But I'm sure you'll be fine!'_ _It_ ** _is_** _Bloomer Briefs of Capsule Corporation after all,_ _Gohan_ _assured himself._ No other company is far more technologically advanced and best-equipped to handle a not-so-routine prenatal check-up for a pregnant Super Namek; all the best medical professionals and institutions on the face of the planet would be struggling to compare. In fact, even the best would clamber to pay zillions of zennies to be under the CC logo's care. "You're in good hands! Don't worry your pretty little nose over it, love!" Gohan boomed into seemingly nothing but clear skies and open breezy beach all around. But he knew that his husband was still within earshot – what with those superior ears that could hear a pin drop within a kilometre radius (and even galaxies apart if he wanted to).

After Roshi and Kririn did their best not to show the happy young lad their twitching faces at all those soul-scarring mushy words, they put on stiff smiles as Gohan faced them and gamely marched inside to have their humble "celebration".

Which brings us to the lewd question posed at the beginning of our story; one that could only come from the mouth of a lecher as old and legendary as Kame Sennin.

Gohan laughed out loud when the question was repeated with an explanation that he was referring to a pussy that had nothing to do with the ones that went 'meow', which made Kririn's clean-shaven head resemble a steamed tomato about to pop.

"I wasn't joking." That effectively stopped Gohan in his tipsy mid-chortle. "I really _am_ curious, you know."

Awkward silence filled the room.

"You _are_ a man, after all—I know a straight one when I see one—and a damn good-lookin' young lad at that! even more than your old man – since you've got, not just the looks but a lot of the brains too! If you really wanted it, you could make any woman lick your feet—and any part of you for that matter! So I reckon, you must really love that green lug husband of yours that much to give up all that pu—"

"Aaaaahhh! Look at that! All gone! I'll go get us some more _sake_ and fruit punch, and oh, I dunno, maybe never come back?! Ladidah!" Kririn jumped to his feet and made himself scarce in a wink. The direction the conversation was going used to be a path he had no qualms traversing – especially during his "hot-blooded" phase when he was much younger.

But now that he was in a serious romantic relationship with a lovely bionic woman who could "accidentally" snap his neck like a twig with a flick of her thumb, he was now proudly a reformed man who did his best to regard all women (pregnant Super Nameks who could do just as much damage to him included) with utmost respect. Tragically, Roshi was a different incorrigible matter altogether. There were many a twisted aberration that all the age and wisdom in the universe could never cure.

The truth of the matter was that Roshi had always been curious. He didn't swing both ways, no ma'am, he didn't. Heck, he didn't swing for anything but sweet and soft and juicy, bouncy—well you get the idea. He had a special sense for that, and he prided himself for being able to sniff out the sweetest nectar from even the most unlikely flowers. And in so far as that he has lived—which was a very, very long time—his "nose" has never failed him even once which is why he has never had reason to doubt it.

That is—

 _Until Piccolo happened._

 **End of Sequence 1**


	2. Sequence 2

It has always been one of the universe's greatest mysteries to his senescent mind: why or _how_ the Namek always smelled _uniquely enticing._ When he started consistently smelling that delectable "nectar" on Piccolo, he thought he was losing his touch and that his age must be finally catching up to his fine olfactory pheromone sensors. He had dismissed it as simply that.

Until recently, when news of Gohan's relationship with the Namek was brought to his knowledge; and somehow– that inviting aroma seemed to get even stronger.

He didn't know enough about Piccolo or Nameks, in general, to be able to explain it; but by then, he was sure of one thing: _female or not, there was something about Piccolo Daimaoh Jr.'s scent that turned him on._

And it wasn't just the appetite-whetting kind of turn on, it was the cranked-up-to-maximum hardness level kind of turn on—the kind that didn't go away with just 'flexing the surrounding muscles'.

Roshi did his best not to entertain the thought, and he most certainly took pains to keep it a well-hidden secret; he had a reputation to uphold after all. Besides, there were too many distractions and more "safe" alternatives left and right. It didn't matter if they were already missuses or not, everyone tolerated him to a certain degree – there were a lot of perks to being a really old and scraggly senior citizen. Why did he have to chase after a fearsome-looking, gigantic, green alien who unquestionably *would not look attractive in a bikini and was in a surprisingly serious romantic relationship with the strongest warrior in the galaxy to boot? He didn't have a death wish just yet, nor was he a masochist.

Whatever interest the Earth-born Namek's lingering sweetness piqued in him was always pushed aside by more "pressing" matters, like letting his eyes feast to its heart's content on full, jiggly bosoms and tight, round behinds of the beautiful well-toned women in their company. He'd get a slap every now and then that would rearrange his face, sure. But it was nothing that couldn't be fixed. He made sure it was well worth the pain, _always_.

His curiosity, however, mutated into a many-horned tentacle beast a when the demi-Saiyajin and his Namek best friend's relationship status changed drastically from "in love and secretly dating" to "married with child". Now _that_ – he never saw coming. Boys played around and experimented - that was the norm. He always figured that if the boy deviated from the path less travelled, it was because Gohan was simply a weird kid going through one of those weird phases half-Saiyajin adolescent teenagers went through. Which in his case, was one where he fantasized about his mentor to fill in the gaps caused by his dysfunctional relationship with his parents—and it so happened that the Namek conveniently provided not only a father figure and best friend figure but everything else in between.

Roshi might have been old, but he was no judgemental prude. He was open-minded enough to understand the appeals of being in such a relationship; to love and let love. But apparently, he had read it wrong. The upgraded "happy little family" status proved as much. So Gohan wasn't simply using Piccolo as an outlet for whatever unspent energies or emotions he needed to unload. He reasoned that his radar must be working fine after all—that there must indeed be something about Piccolo for such a fine and charming young specimen such as Son Gohan Jr. to give up everything that life had to offer the few remaining legitimate _fine and charming young male specimens_ like him, just to ensure that he had first and forever dibs on the aforementioned fearsome-looking, gigantic, green alien.

Could it be possible that what he perceived as a grave loss to the already bereft female population due to impetuous decisions of a confused boy with daddy issues was really more than that? _Was there really something about Piccolo that was worth giving up all the wonderful fluffy muffins and cream pies in the world?_

The need to know became unbearable at times, but contrary to popular belief, Roshi was wise—wise enough to distinguish that some curiosities were more fatal than others… Piccolo may not be a female in his eyes but he undoubtedly had the "fetale" somewhere in him, so he made sure not to wade into unfamiliar and potentially shark-infested waters.

That day, however, when Gohan and his second-time pregnant Namek husband dropped in to make the blissful announcement, he got another whiff of the mysteriously alluring scent—only with much more valence than before. He felt a heat unlike no other which made the temptation to wade into that potentially dangerous, uncharted territory impossible to resist.

So it was then that he finally decided that he would test the waters first and see if he could court Lady Luck to his side to even the impossible odds. (He liked to be on the safe side, but he could be a gambling man if the prize was worth the risk.) And indeed, it appeared that fate was rooting for him when his offer for some mildly alcoholic refreshments was smoothly accepted.

Less than an hour into their merrymaking, the boy had become loose-tongued; his senses already considerably dulled. Even so, Roshi was careful to be subtle about his interest in the married Namek; the besotted young man was such a jealous lover even if he wasn't aware of it. But a little more alcohol in the lad's system could probably dumb even that down. He was about to find out…

Everyone knew the boy was a lightweight and Roshi estimated two servings of fruit punch would suffice. After all, he didn't want Gohan to pass out—at least, not before all his questions were answered.

And that's all he really wanted, for Gohan to "share" some of his sexual adventures with Piccolo. Ideally, in high-definition and full-colour.

By the time Gohan was halfway through his second glass, he was already uncharacteristically over prolix. It was easy to see that he would answer just about anything at that point- and garrulously. So when Roshi reiterated the question, even after a brief explanation, Gohan—being the naïve young man that he was—needed to ask: 'What do you mean?', his words coming out in a lazy slur.

"I mean…" Roshi wanted to get it straight out of the horse's mouth, so to speak, and he was not one for modesty (much less a false one). Now that it was just him and the boy, there was no need for dallying or circumspection. "Don't you want to have sex with a woman? Do you two even actually do it or do you just—errr… uhh… 'pollenate' him? If so, how does that work? Where do you stick up your carrot? Down behind? Upstairs? Or somewhere else?"

When Gohan's jaw quite anticlimactically hit the floor and remained there, he grew impatient so he stopped mincing words:

"How do you two have sex?"

 **End of Sequence 2.**

* * *

 **Notes:**

 ***would not look attractive in a bikini** \- This is Roshi's opinion (which I obviously do not share, hehe. Just to be clear). (I know you and I both know that P-san *does* look too sinfully delicious in a bikini not to gobble all up! Mmm...)


	3. Sequence 3

**Warning:** Somewhat satyrical headcanon dump.

* * *

The young, second-time, father-to-be's face—which was already flushed—looked about ready to combust.

A part of him knew that such matters were supposed to be private; but the greater portion of him also didn't know any better, now that he was getting magnificently piss drunk. All he understood of the situation was that he was being shot with questions that he needed to deflect with honest-to-goodness answers as if his life depended on it…

"Well…" Gohan began, having considerable trouble shepherding his thoughts, "He's not exactly _just_ a 'he'—I mean, he is! He _definitely_ is. But… he's uh… also such a perfect 'she'… In part and in whole; Piccolo-san is just wonderful like that, you know?"

Of course, Roshi _didn't know_ what the boy meant. Not yet, at least. Otherwise, he wouldn't be bothered to take on this bizarre expedition of picking this odd creature's "unconventional" brain; he would jump straight into the action if he knew where it was at—which was the very thing he was trying to determine at the moment.

But as it was, all the lovesick sighing and swooning in between crumbs of information was chipping away at his patience and making him doubt the soundness of his mission. _Did the unsociable Namek really have some mouth-watering, rare delicacy up his cloaca that was worth sampling?_ Heck, for all he knew, Piccolo could simply have hypnotized them both and was really just screwing with their minds! But since he's already gone this far…

"Well, to be honest: no. I really don't 'know' what you're raving about. But let me try and humour you… So, you're saying he's a 'he' because the man's got man parts… And yet, that he's also a 'she' in the sense that he can lay babies in eggs? (Lil' Tulip-chan did hatch from an egg, did she?)"

"(Uhh, yes, that's correct.)" Gohan provided with a non-too-modest blush. "And yes, Piccolo-sama is able to have babies all on his own, asexually, if he wanted to… But like most Earthlings, he could also have babies with another, only… _hermaphroditically_."

"Oh."

Roshi didn't know that titillating bit of information but that partly confirmed one of his creeping suspicions (courtesy of his trusty nose which had been a step ahead of him in that aspect).

The fact that Piccolo was AC/DC-equipped would explain how the boy managed to get his withdrawn Namek husband legitimately pregnant with a child that shared their DNA qualities quite impeccably.

Roshi initially figured Piccolo was able to bear Gohan's child via something as unromantic as drinking any of his bodily fluids or even eating whatever pieces of him that contained his DNA information. The late Piccolo Daimaoh Sr. was able to acquire whatever traits from different organisms that he wished to imbue his offspring with; which was how he managed to produce a variety of children in different shapes and sizes without coition. (But they speculated that possibly not every average Namek was as talented, seeing as how everyone on Planet Namek looked like—well… _like everyone else— like Nameks;_ nothing else).

Based off that (and what stingy information Dende had shared), most of their Z-Senshi peers presumed that anatomically speaking, Nameks weren't made to be capable of sexual intercourse since they didn't seem to need or even want it (if they even knew what it was, that is).

But then, that premise brought up the curious question of what they were actually hiding in-between their legs—if they had anything there at all or just useless voids for crotches (and the whole pants-wearing thing was just some collective Namekian fashion statement).

The topic inevitably became the subject of many exaggerated theories (and jokes). One of which was perpetrated by Oolong, involving the possibility that Nameks might have otherworldly sexual organs in their throats – an idea derived from their race's "egg-vomiting" process. What were the chances that maybe they did possess some kind of alien-like penis in their groin areas which they used for oral insemination into the throat of another to get the other pregnant; which would pretty much account for Namekian sex?

That same theory later devolved into yet another theory that, _"what if"_ Nameks actually had their own version of a penis and vagina in their mouths and throats, with which they ejaculated and swallowed ejaculate with – and used to do many more perfectly normal things beings with genitalia in their oral cavities and respiratory tracts did?

The whole idea spawned imagery of Nameks copulating via slimy, squirmy, slug-like tongues which were actually their penises; wheezing and gagging on their own venereal mucous discharges as it built-up in their throats to bubble forth from their mouths while they "penis-vagina kissed"; and regurgitated and glugged down each others' genital fluids and semen (and maybe even exchanged telepathic and bashfully randy "sweet talk" as they did the act) all at once… Altogether, chaotic and messy multi-tasking at its finest!

While the whole sordid tableau could have easily painted any normal adolescent Namek's "perfectly normal" erotic fantasy– most disreputable and depraved perverts as he and Oolong were, they _did_ have their limits. Roshi himself drew a clear line between what he considered "fascinatingly kinky or deviant" kind of sexy, and the "downright gross and uncomfortably suffocating (in both literal and metaphorical senses of the word)" kind of unsexy.

Roshi reckoned he loved talking to pussies, sure! But talking to someone's face which was actually their pussy—which was capable of talking back (in both local and alien languages) was too perturbing and unpalatable a notion, even for his debauchedly warped mind. He really much rather preferred it if pussies stayed pussies doing what pussies did best; and that mouths stayed mouths, doing– well… what mouths were supposed to do—and that preferably, both said parties didn't speak out of line and minded their own respective businesses—yes, ma'am! Thank you very much!

Now that he finally got the facts straight about the hybrid Super Namek's sexual attributes, he realized how outlandish all previous presuppositions had been. Gohan himself was apparently just as incredulous about all the rumours about their sex life, and in fact, was yakking about it that very moment; voicing Roshi's thoughts almost exactly as they occurred…

 _Why did spewing eggs from their mouths have to equate to genitalia in their throats?_ when the process of asexual reproduction in Nameks was clearly so one-of-its-kind that it didn't even require fertilization nor insemination to complete—therefore, did not even require typical mammalian or oviparous genitalia… From everything they've learnt and seen, Namekian asexual reproduction evidently did not even require the utilization of any kind of sexual organ at all. If anything, the process could be most likened to an advanced type of self-replicating—akin to molecular splitting or cloning, applicable to most average Namekians, since they only have one parent and didn't require external genetic contributors or even fertilization of an egg.

Nameks, as Roshi further gathered from Gohan's ramblings, were birthed dominantly male but could later develop into hermaphrodites capable of sexual intercourse with almost any species. It also made much more sense, that though Nameks reminded humans of plants and slugs native to Earth, thanks to some of the dominant physical features they possessed (their green colour, the smooth bark or leaf-like covering of their skin, antennae, and hermaphroditism were the ones on the forefront) – that didn't have to necessarily mean that they had sex like hermaphroditic slugs. Namekian anatomy resembled those of humans more than trees and molluscs, given that they had perfectly functional limbs and, as it turns out, similar male and female reproductive organs situated in-between their legs—the only difference being that unlike humans, their genitalia weren't immediately externally visible and (according to Gohan himself), only appeared when they were aroused or getting ready to mate.

All in all, it was both educational and enlightening, Roshi had to admit, even for one as ancient and withered by time as he was. He almost laughed out loud at his own earlier theory about how Nameks got pregnant from orally ingesting DNA—which of course, he realized was just as ridiculous, given that DNA information was **_everywhere_**! The air alone was filled with DNA from practically every unsuspecting donor possible; and this is virally transmitted from person to person, organism to organism, _every time._ We don't really think about it (understandably so), but the fact of the matter is that we all unwittingly ingest DNA from _anything and everything_ all the time—from spittle to spores to microscopic organisms, and even air-borne viruses… Consequently, if Nameks could get pregnant from almost any other species _just_ by swallowing DNA through their mouth, then the simple act of talking—or even just breathing! would do the trick. Plus, Piccolo was proving to be as unique as his sire in such a way that he deviated from Namekian norm because they both consumed food – both raw and cooked, which also contained DNA, not only in the food itself but also from whoever or whatever that food came into contact with…

If that were the case, then Namekians never should have had any problems with underpopulation because their fertile period would have them multiplying like gremlins in a pool party…! Which, luckily for any Namek-phobics out there, thankfully wasn't the case at all.

 _So, Gohan was having his fill of pussy after all—and a whole lot more,_ Roshi mused rubbing his beard.

The boy was unquestionably satisfied—from what was plain on the surface. _No, the young man seemed more than satisfied_ – he didn't even seem to remember that the standard variety of females existed anymore.

Roshi's curiosity was shimmying down a different path, now that he knew Nameks' true gender (or genders)… He now wanted to know exactly how Piccolo's allegedly superior Namekian female components fared against those of the "standard variety" of Earthling women…

While there might not be much of a difference more than the obvious; the only explanation for the controversy was Gohan being the smitten kitten for Piccolo that he always has been, that much was established… There _had_ to be something more to the boy's obsession than just "love", right? Not that Roshi had anything against the concept – he was merely a man of practical beliefs and principles—and he believed the boy was really in love for "tangible" reasons more than the "abstract".

And Roshi could feel that he wasn't going to be made to wait for much longer… All the meaty details were about to be served to him on a silver platter… A nudge or two in the right direction more, and Gohan was going to tip over and spill, and build into a snowball of information… Then, he would _finally!_ get the lowdown on Piccolo's amazing scent and how best to "enjoy" it for himself!

"Well, clearly, you're one happy camper! And I'm happy for you, my boy! I propose a toast! To you and your full-chested, tight-assed, pregnant green hubby!"

Gohan almost missed Roshi's glass in a feverish fit of flusteredness. They both chugged their remaining liquid before haphazardly setting their glasses down on the table.

"Are you sure you got no regrets?"

"What's there to—" Gohan gave an apoplectic hiccup and the island shook a little. "…regret?"

"I don't know," Roshi shrugged. "How would you know for sure when you have yet to sample all the merchandise? You won't know what you're missing until you get some real action with a female closer to your home base, 'is all I'm saying."

"Uh… Actually… I—" Another drunken hiccup. "— _do_ know."

"Oh?" The old man's brows hiked higher up his shiny forehead. "Do you mean that you've already 'done the deed' with an actual human girl before? Ohhh-hoho! You sly dog!"

Gohan reddened in record time. "N-no, it's not like that… Well, sort of… but not really…"

"Well, don't make me beg for it now!

 _"Do indulge me."_

 **End of Sequence 3.**


	4. Sequence 4

**Warnings:**

 **o** References to events that took place in "Eyes Only For You".  
 **o** More headcanons to compliment the canon.  
 **x** This is the main "Not GohanxVidel-Friendly" chapter.  
 **x** This is unbeta'd.

* * *

"It's true I tried to get some… 'experience'… to help me… uhm, _'forget'_ Piccolo-san—at least, as far as my mother's theory went…"

"And…? How'd that work out for ya'?"

"She was… a great girl…"

"I see…" Roshi calmly refilled his glass and took a swig. "Is this that fine, young lady whom you went to Goten-kun's party with?"

A hollow laugh passed Gohan's lips. "That was all Mother's idea. Goten doesn't even like Videl-san… I was practically pushed to propose to her after Mother found out who Videl-san really was _…_ "

"Well, I can't blame Chi-chi there _…_ " Roshi stroked his bushy grey moustache thoughtfully. "What mother wouldn't want their son married off to the most well-to-do, eligible girl in town? It didn't hurt that she wasn't so bad lookin' either." Then as an afterthought, he added, "Why, I thought you two looked nice together."

"Yeah…" Gohan snorted. "That's what most everyone thought—and what I tried to work with, I guess…"

"Wuhhdyamean?" Roshi was still trying to do his best impression of a drunk for that added touch (not that Gohan would've noticed). "Didn't you _at least_ like her? Don't tell me you didn't enjoy kissing her! and putting your arms around her, and for Kami's sakes boy—! just getting to do the usual enjoyable things that normal, healthy, teenage boys enjoyed doing to pretty, normal, healthy, teenage girls!"

"It's… not bad… _I suppose._ "

" _'You suppose'…_? It's _'not bad'_?" The old man leaned in closer, barely able to restrain himself. "That's it?"

"I thought I liked her enough to… 'enjoy' whatever it was I was expected to do with her… But something about it just didn't feel right…"

"How in high heaven could it _'not feel right'_ , boy?" Roshi spluttered. "She was one young and pretty dame—and well-endowed too!—at least, from what these tired old eyes could scope out!"

"It was… illuminating at best—"

"Haw! 'Illuminating'? First time I've heard that one!"

"We hit it off okay as friends, but after that… when things started to get weird… I dunno… Everything about us being together that way just… It all began to feel so _forced_ at some point and…" Gohan blinked up foggily. "… _'Well-endowed'_?"

The old hermit gestured to his chest, cupping imaginary breasts and doing scandalous squeezing actions.

"Oh! _That_." Gohan scratched one of his pinking cheeks, "Actually… That was just lots of tape and a padded push-up bra."

"They were fake?" Roshi gasped; his brows would have climbed up even higher and past his non-existent hairline at that if it were possible. "And you know this _because…?_ "

"It was an accident, I swear…! I didn't mean to feel it…!"

Roshi prided himself at being able to discern these things at a glance, but he wasn't one to deny an honest misjudgement every now and then. Fact of the matter was, Kame Sennin's expert sensors were already too impaired by the alcohol for it to work at its prime by the time Gohan and Videl arrived at Goten's party.

"Do tell!"

Gohan didn't speak for some moments. His eyelids drooped to a close and his fingers re-asserted themselves around his empty glass.

Muten Roshi couldn't tell if he was pondering how to proceed, about to pass out or gauging the worst consequences of asking for a refill.

While he did consider the possibility that a third round of "drink" might be needed to get the job done, as much as can be helped he didn't want to risk jeopardizing his slim chances. He needed Gohan to stay chatty long enough for him to get what he needed…

The boy's tolerance for alcohol did somewhat increase since his elopement, but it still depended on what he was drinking. Gin-spiked fruit punch proved to be his number one Achilles' heel so far… But the half-breed held his own and didn't ask for another serving.

 _So far, so good…_

"It happened this one time she tried to pin my arms from behind when we were sparring… I forgot to pretend to be at a disadvantage for a second or two and resisted so she pressed onto my back to reinforce her grip and… That's when I felt that part of her didn't feel… well… like it was supposed to…"

"Oh? How did it feel?"

"I dunno… Just not the same as it looked…" The teenager's face glowed bright red.

"You're not into itty-bitties, huh?" Roshi blurted out with a toothy grin.

"No! It's-it's not that! I was just—" Gohan stared ruefully at his empty glass. "…surprised, that's all. I asked her about it and got a slap for an answer…"

That earned a booming guffaw from the old man. "She sure had me fooled!"

"I didn't mean to offend her… It's just…"

"It's all good, my boy! Some of us like it big, round, and bouncy; some like it bite-sized; while some—like yourself—like it wide, packed to bursting, and green!"

The ebony-haired youth waited out a sizzling blush at the imagery of his lover's chest (which he indeed, adored indecently) before being able to move on, back into the conversation.

"I just don't understand… She's always acting tough and boyish—she even had her hair chopped off after our 'falling out'. She wasn't like other girls who're always made up trying to look extra pretty… I thought she cared more about crime-fighting and martial arts than those things. What would she need to fake fuller breasts for…?"

"Indeed, she was very demure during Goten-chan's birthday party, I never would have guessed that she was the same bad-ass, crime-fightin' lassie I always see on TV! Maybe she was trying to impress you! She was in love with you, after all. I've heard people change a lot when they're in love! Or maybe she was just making sure that no one mistook her for a boy trying to pass off as a girl! _Haw-haw!_ You don't need to beat yourself up over it, my boy! You're pure-hearted like your old man, that's why you don't get these things! And you don't need to! I mean, I know you're brainier than most, but c'mon! Who really understands how women think anyway, right? Females are a _very complicated_ species. I'd be damned if they even understood themselves! So they're ravin' mad to expect us to be able to!"

Gohan rubbed his nape and hiccupped as his glass was replaced with one filled with normal fruit punch; a switch that went completely unnoticed.

"You really are your old man's son! Any other half-decent fellow with no self-respect like me would have just enjoyed the attention. Not all of us are lucky enough to meet our fated love at age four, you know!"

The hot flush was back on Gohan's cheeks before Roshi could even finish his sentence. "Technically, I just turned three when I met him…"

"Touché." The old man raised his drink to incite a toast but ended up watching his _sake_ leak from the tiny cracks expanding from the point where Gohan had "clinked" his glass with a little too much force than necessary. Yet another restatement that the normally very cautious boy was already out of touch with his faculties. The cracked ware crumbled to smithereens in Roshi's hand the next second. He dusted the remnants of glass off his palms with a nonchalant shrug.

" _It's probably because of my Saiyajin sense of smell…_ "

Kame Sennin barely heard the quiet mumble. He knew more than anyone how important a role smells played in the game of seduction. But he held back his growing excitement; had to feign ignorance if he was going to get the boy to divulge it all.

"Well, they say 'the nose knows'. But how do you mean exactly? Did she smell funny?"

"Huh? Oh no, she smelled… _normal_ —the way most normal girls do… Misted in perfume with hints of sweat, and smothered in artificial fruit flavoured cosmetics…"

Roshi was pretty sure the Gohan he knew would never have meant that comment to come off as snidely if he were sober. But he was only mildly surprised to find that the boy may actually have a pernickety, mordant side to him after all and that he may simply be too well-mannered to voice any of his deep-seated cavils when he wasn't wasted out of his normally temperate mind. He made a mental note to invite the young lad to get drunk more often; Kami knew even the kindest, most enduring souls needed to seriously cut loose and unwind every now and then.

"Hmm. I see… That doesn't sound so bad…"

"It isn't."

"But…?" There was definitely a 'but' coming.

"But…" The demi-Saiyajin's shoulders heaved, then with a heavy puff, he allowed himself to slump face-forward onto the table; his next words coming out muffled. "It's hard to explain… but it just didn't turn me on that way… not the way Piccolo-san's scent does."

Roshi's not-so-little man was on fire, stirred by the memory of the Namek's alluring smell.

"I don't know. I just love how he smells… At first, it was just an ethereal, innocent fragrance… Like how flower beds would smell in a perfect, unspoilt planet—mildly sugary-sweet, all-organic, and antiseptic. It was one of those things that made me want to follow him around all day… I couldn't get enough of it. Then one day, it all changed… When that same smell made my body feel funny in ways I didn't understand…" Gohan covered his fast-burning face, muffling his next words even more. "I had to stay away because it got painful to be around him without being able to act on it!"

Kame Sennin stilled as he let the revelation he had been waiting for sink in… So, he was right all along. Gohan could sense it too, and clearly, the Namek's mysterious fragrance affected him—or adolescent demi-Saiyajins—more efficaciously than normal women's pheromones did. It would appear that the typecast of strong-willed human females being a Saiyajin males' weakness didn't apply to half-blooded human hybrids—at least, in the case of this particular half-breed. Whether it was because Son Gohan Jr. was more eccentric than the average mould, to begin with, or a far more imperative biological instinct was at play, this showed that the boy wasn't the type who wanted to be dominated by a strong female, but instead wanted to be the one doing the dominating to a freakishly strong hermaphroditic Namek.

Roshi supposed it was logical that Gohan's mating preferences exceeded the cliché norm as well. Whose to say what kind of sexual tendencies possessed a being considered the strongest on Earth—maybe even the entire galaxy? None of them could ever claim to know what such superior genes sought out, not even Goku who formerly held the title of "World's Strongest" who was effortlessly unseated by his firstborn. Compared to average Saiyajins like Vegeta and Goku, and despite his normal façade, Son Gohan Jr. was every bit a freak of both the Saiyajin and Human race as Piccolo Daimaoh Jr. was a freak among Nameks. The more he ruminated over it, the more it fit the bill. It made sense that freaks would be attracted to freaks…

"How very interesting…" Roshi commented, rather perfunctorily at that point. His eyes were on the boy as he gulped down his drink but his mind was already moving to phase two of his plan (if it were possible). "Goku has the nose of a hound; I imagine your sense of smell can't be that different. Although I have to admit, even to this old man's nose, your Namek's does stand out in a room full of alpha-male musk. He actually smells good enough to put most females to shame, if I'll be completely honest—with none of the synthetic chicanery typical females employ."

Gohan nodded sluggishly, "My mother has a habit of glossing over the fact that I'm half-alien… She used to brainwash me all the time that I was normal and that I should act normal… have a normal human life and… like 'normal' human girls. I don't understand why she even married my father if she hated the 'abnormal' part of us… But the stronger I got, the more I needed to stay away from humans… One lesson my father inadvertently taught me was that not being able to keep our strength in check at all times around them could have ugly consequences… All those times he never meant to injure Mother just because he tried to act 'normal' and he'd forget his own strength… And to think that I was supposed to be stronger than him without even knowing it! It scared the hell out of me! The last thing I'd ever want is to accidentally hurt anyone. Videl-san is really strong for a human but all it takes is one fatal mistake—one slip-up!—and I could break her in half without even meaning to! Those times I had to fight her and hold back was tough…! I can't imagine how many times more that would suck if our sex life had to be the same…" The hybrid's expression turned solemn, his voice dropping to a shaky whisper. "All my life, that's how it's been… Holding back with everything for everyone's sake… I can only be myself and let go whenever I'm with Piccolo-san—choosing to be with him was the only selfish thing I've ever allowed myself to have… And I don't regret making that selfish choice at all. He can take all and everything of me, as hard and as many times as I can give…"

The last part Gohan merely mumbled but the old hermit didn't miss it, nor did his mind fail to invoke a very comprehensive visual to match. His hand instinctively flew to under the **_*_** _chabudai,_ to adjust his pants before his erection leapt out. And all of a sudden, Muten Roshi wasn't simply curious anymore, but something else entirely. He knew what he wanted to do, if it were the last thing he ever did…

 _He wanted to kill his curiosity once and for all._

 **End of Sequence 4.**

* * *

 **Notes:**

 ***chabudai** \- A type of Japanese low table.

 **Replies To Reviews:**

 **To Guest:  
** Thank you so much!

 **To IgnisDivine:**  
Thank you! I'm glad I managed to make you happy in my own little way. XD

 **To Divine above question:  
** I'm sorry, I don't think I understood your very "unique" and so very intelligently "articulate" language, honey. Oh, but I am soooo flattered you took the time to read and review my story (how sweet of you!) even if you are not a fan of this pairing. Thank you!


	5. Sequence 5

To the world, Kame Senin may seem like just another dirty old pervert (which wasn't necessarily untrue…).

But the unpopular truth of the matter was that he prided himself a connoisseur of fine beauty; _an aesthete_ , if you will. Back in his heydays, women flocked to Muten Roshi for his expertise. And no, not the one in martial arts. If there was anything he was even better at than martial arts? It was exalting a woman's body. Making the ladies feel _sexy, appreciated,_ and most important of all: _good;_ something he believed _all_ beautiful women deserved, that was his greatest pleasure to give.

Of course, ripe old age may have drastically and radically altered how women perceive him, and his former suave ways of "showing appreciation" may have suffered accordingly. A suggestive touch from a handsome young man was romantic and flattering; whereas from a decrepit, wrinkly old one, it was plain "sexual harassment". Beauty was a cruel mistress _indeed_.

In all his long history of conquests and falls, however, Roshi has never found himself "in a pickle" that required this much _finagle_. Even if alien hermaphrodites and Nameks were not his usual fare, he was up for a little adventure every now and then. Variety was, after all, the spice of life; and for one particular hermaphroditic Namek that smelled _this_ good, he was more than willing to make an exception.

So he went on a mission to answer this particular puzzle's most pressing question:

 _Was it the half-breed Saiyajin that just happened to have peculiar tastes in romance? Or was there truly something extra special about Piccolo?_

Killer pheromones…? A certain _je ne sais quoi_ in bed…? (Did he actually rock a bikini?) Just what was it that made him so desirable to Gohan—enough to make the average cute and sexy city girl seem so frightfully dull in comparison?

Now that Roshi had his answers and more, he was finally able to answer some questions of his own as to what exactly he wanted to do about it all. He was going to attempt to snag what unquestionably stood to be his most controversial (if not suicidal) conquest.

 _He wanted a taste of Piccolo._

But how to get what he wanted without incurring the wrath of two of the world's strongest beings? Only all the concentrated luck of the universe in his favour could make his fantasies a reality.

 _He had to get Gohan out of the way and manage to subdue Piccolo for a few hours._

It seemed impossible.

At first.

But Muten Roshi was a man who has weathered a long history of strife. History itself bore witness to wars being won against impossible odds armed with cunning and strategy. If we were to be realistic, battles aren't conquered with strength and power-ups alone, but in fact, _with_ _intelligence_. And Kame Sennin did not outlast time and all its all its gruesome challenges for as long as he had if he were not.

And so, at this point in our story, the situation stands thus:

 _Son Gohan Jr. was only one more glass away from passing out, and his husband was on his way back. One more refill of the real spiked fruit punch as Roshi's last congratulatory toast proposal, and he knew the first of his problems was already on its way to solving itself…_

 _If all continued to go according to plan, it was not going to be that difficult to immobilise the pregnant Namek anymore either once he arrived, as long as his Super Saiyajin husband was already out for the count by then…_

The way Roshi saw it, Piccolo Daimaoh Jr. was already as good as his, for at least _one full hour_.

It appeared that he had somehow won Lady Luck's favour after all.

The old man licked his lips; he was practically drooling in anticipation.

All that was left now was to wait and to act in perfect timing with his scenario.

Understandably, after all that talk of sex, Gohan was horny as hell when Piccolo arrived not long after. The young man pounced his towering lover, ripped off his clothes in a frenzy, and feasted himself on every inch of skin he could get his mouth and hands on.

Just as understandably, Piccolo took the unexpected public display of unbridled affection with a considerable measure of shock; but upon realizing that their only audience was snoring loudly, fast asleep– he didn't see the point in resisting for long.

Muten Roshi has had many countless romantic trysts on the shores of his beachfront—all memorable in the own right. But it was his first time to be treated to one between a severely intoxicated demi-Saiyajin and a Namek almost at the full-term of his pregnancy. Thanks to his trusty sunglasses, he could still feign being asleep while his eyes were wide open and enjoying the show. He certainly didn't need to fake drool; although, he was thankful that he decided to "fall asleep" face down or it would have been very hard to conceal the growing monster inside his short pants while keeping up his act of being unconscious.

The effects of all that alcohol finally took over completely right after Gohan climaxed inside his husband for what Roshi gathered was the second time. It was amazing that the boy still managed to have a second go and he was worried for some minutes that the sex might cause him to sober up. But the boy was flat on his face on the sand the very next moment and Roshi knew that it was his moment to act, especially while the Namek was still trying to blink away the stars from his vision and remember how to usher oxygen into his lungs.

Piccolo sat up, startled when a glass of water was nonchalantly nudged in his line of sight. After a moment of confusion, he received the offering and drank it. (Gohan did mention that sex always made the Namek feel parched.)

Shortly after, even before the last of the container's contents had managed to disappear completely, the glass slipped from his guest's elegant, verdant fingers; a clipped, strangled sigh escaped plush green lips, eyes rolled back, eyelids collapsed shut, and Piccolo's long, naked body soon lay incumbent on the sand…

 **End of Sequence 5.**

* * *

 **Notes:**

I was sick for almost a week. T^T Which is why I wasn't able to complete this within a week as I intended. But, we have reached the halfway point, and the kinky/creepy/gothic-y porn starts after this so... Seriously. Brace yourself. Haha. (I will only post the **CENSORED VERSION** here so if you want to read the real deal, hop on over to my AO3.)

 **Replies to Reviews:**

 **To IgnisDivine:  
** Aw. Again, thank you! That makes me very happy to know. And it was so sweet and caring of you to report the obviously disgruntled GohanxVidel fan but it's okay. I don't care about those kinds of troublemakers anymore. I really am flattered they spent their "precious" time to look at my work even if only to bash me for it, haha. Oh, which Romanian word? Do you mean "cloaca"? To be honest, I did not know it was Romanian... I simply used it as a play on a snail's anatomy, since they mate via their cloaca, haha.

 **To Guest:**  
That's so perceptive of you, thank you for the kind concern. I've heard rumours of FFnet net banning writers indiscriminately and without basis, but thankfully, so far, I have never been a victim. If ever they decide to ban me or take me down, I'd be very sad, but what can I do? I guess that would force me to stay on Ao3 and AFForg exclusively. Although, I hope they don't ban me/delete my stories because technically, I haven't broken any of the site's rules (yet). And I have seen a lot of much more explicit, tasteless porn on FFnet that have survived here for years! *_* I hope the FFnet staff see reason and act only against the spammers and trolls.


	6. Half of Sequence 6

**This chapter is a Rated-R chapter and has been truncated. (The full chapter is available on my AO3.)**

* * *

When Piccolo Daimaoh Jr. woke next, he found himself spread-eagle on a bed, strapped down with Ki reinforced bonds; which took care of what little fight remained in him. He could feel a foreign substance wrecking havoc in his system. Whatever it was, was potent enough to keep him too weak and much too heavily disorientated to break free.

 _It was in the water. A very powerful but virtually undetectable aphrodisiac._ Roshi made sure that Piccolo overdosed it – but just enough to render him powerless without knocking him out. Thanks to Gohan's reckless drunken chatter, he also learned many extra useful tidbits about Piccolo, such as how drugs affected Nameks—which was very interesting indeed.

Since most Nameks' bodies healed extraordinarily fast and they had evolved to be highly adaptable creatures, their immune system was so advanced that it quickly attacked and flushed out anything unnatural in their system; mainly foreign bodies, virus strains, and chemicals like those found in processed medicine.

Luckily, the chances of Piccolo's body repelling his very own special concoction were slim because it was all-natural and chemical-free. Even in the event that the Namek's body did try to eject it, he made sure that Piccolo's immune system would take longer to cope with the foreign substance because he had upped the dosage considerably; hopefully, ensuring that he would have already finished his own invasion of Piccolo's body by the time that happened.

Of course, that wasn't all Roshi did to ensure that the powerful Super Namek stayed subdued. He didn't become a wizened old pervert for nothing. When he was serious about his prey, he took all the safety precautions necessary and available to him to guarantee that things went his way without a hitch…

The Namek's ear canals were corked deep with a set of earphones that delivered a low frequency whistling sound set to play on loop. And by the way Piccolo squirmed, hissed, and groaned in discomfort every time he adjusted the volume, he took it to mean that it was working very well.

Finally, to back all of that up, he even resorted to having a last failsafe measure in place, even if it was very unlikely that Piccolo would still be able to break free of the combined Ki-enforced ropes, the continual auditory assault, and the drugs. Though he wasn't as skilled in it as his Master Mutaito—enough to add it to his fighting repertoire—he did pick up a few neat tricks of his own to combat "Majins" or magical creatures like the Namekians; and arguably even had an untapped knack for it (most likely because it ran in their family, as he did have a gifted albeit crotchety witch for an elder sister).

Certain advanced martial arts techniques involving written spells had the power not only to trap beings whose souls were ingrained with mystical potential in another dimension or seal them inside electric rice cookers (or whatever appliance of your choice)– but were also able to bind and immobilize them (especially useful before when needed to seduce charming ladies of the magic-wielding sort).

And it was such a method that he was employing now in the form of special _*ofuda_ strategically placed in the four corners of the bed Piccolo was tied to, which did exactly those: _bind and immobilize_.

Now that everything was set—and satisfied that Piccolo was no longer capable of putting up a fight—Muten Roshi got down to business…

 _Sex was a subtle art._

To Roshi, this was never more true than when he's found the perfect subject to shower with ravishment. Now could not be a more perfect example of that. This left him torn between diving right in fast and hard and taking it nice and slow… He couldn't really choose, seeing that he wanted to do both, and so he decided that going for something right down in the middle which was a little of both would be be the best option.

 _Nice and slow but rough and hard._ However, given that he rarely ever got to loosen the reigns on his own full strength, he was leaning towards not so much of the "nice" and a little bit more of the "rough".

 _Tough love it was going to be then._

Roshi let his eyes leisurely roam the body before him… The smooth skin of Piccolo's neck and clavicle… His finely sculpted shoulders and arms… The generous expanse of tightly packed pectoral muscles exploding from the low plunging neckline of his gi top… His distended and perfectly round belly which carried the second fruit of his and Gohan's physical union (which he found inexplicably sexy)… _And finally–_

Stepping closer, he took a fistful of the garment directly over Piccolo's crotch area _–_ _and unceremoniously ripped it off._

 _–The much-anticipated, now exposed sex in-between his parted thighs…_

And that alone was enough to get the old man trembling with uncontainable predatory sexual hunger.

Normally he exercised a little more finesse with the ladies when he "made love" to them. But sometimes, how the game is played depended entirely on the players. While Roshi had his share of strong, androgynous, and even half-alien women, none of them were quite as "special" as Piccolo.

The Namek's size and mass were by no means petite, nor was the power contained within his lithe physique puny by any measure—that, he was certain of. But by contrast, there was nothing abrasive nor unbreakable about any part of him either. Elegant and shapely limbs were a highlight, while every plane, slope, and plateau of him was flawlessly proportioned in every way. But Roshi was especially drawn to his long, _long_ legs, equally graceful as they were muscular – that much could be easily discerned at a glance despite the baggy clothing. It was exceptionally apparent now, as Piccolo's endless legs pulled far in opposite directions beyond his will, forced to leave his most vulnerable area open for his would-be rapist to feast on and exploit.

And feast Roshi did, letting his eyes crawl all over the shiny plumped up delicateness of Piccolo—the primary source of the nectar-sweet scent that had been torturing his little man in silence for many years now. And he did not think penises could hold grudges, but now he knew that they could, because his manhood was hardening fast with a vengeance, raring to "exact revenge" on its tormentor as soon as possible…

 _But no, not yet._ The best things in life always tasted so much sweeter if properly savoured first…

* * *

 **This chapter has been truncated (because FFnet does not allow Rated-MA material).  
** **The full Sequence 6 is posted on my AO3 {MariekoWest}.**


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